I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
