She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
MIDGETS
????
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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