he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
