I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
