absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
