Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
