my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize