When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
