4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
