you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
