Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
