you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
