I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
