my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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