If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
