Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i need some magic done to my vagina
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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