you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
