may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
