No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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