We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
