the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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