My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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