So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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