So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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