Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
