At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
