Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
