the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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