like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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