He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
So much Jack, so little girl.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
