I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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