i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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