it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
