I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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