Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize