Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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