What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
