Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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