yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
