is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
