Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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