is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
