ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
