we're blogging at a bar
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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