You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
