I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
