I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
