I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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