I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
