Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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