So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He passed out mid-signature
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
