Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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