like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
