worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
