Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
