I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
