you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
