super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
