god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
