I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
